If asked my most painful punishment in primary school (well, infant school in my case) I’d have to say, gulp, errm, oh dear, smacked leg, female teacher. It made a very big impression though! So much so that I recently found myself comparing old aerial photographs of the (now demolished) school site with Google Satellite View and trying to work out exactly what now stands on the spot where Miss B hauled the leg of my shorts skywards and assaulted my thigh with her rock hard hand in front of the grinning kids from her top class. It looks as if it’s the porch of a pensioner’s bungalow,

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