Mother normally did not return before three minutes had elapsed (the thermometer was supposed to be accurate after one minute but she counted three to be sure). This time, for some reason (perhaps she had suspicions about my demeanour) she returned early. I nearly jumped out of bed as she opened the door.
I had no plausible explanation why I was not lying in bed with the thermometer in my behind. Instead, I was sitting on the bed, thermometer in hand and had hastily turned my lamp off. I don’t actually recall what kind of fake excuse I tried using – maybe I said I was trying to read the thermometer using the lamp. To my surprise, Mother stormed off, telling me to ‘stay there’.
She soon returned and told me to get out of bed. She took the thermometer out of my hand and once more shook it down. Then she sat dpwm on the bed and ordered me to drop my pyjamas and lie across her lap. At this point, I realised she also had a tube of Vaseline and some toilet paper in her hand.