Thinking back to when I was caned,

I remember more about after the caning than before or during the punishment.

The first time I got a caning I came out of the headmaster’s study feeling elated.

I felt as though I had passed a test.

I had been initiated.

I had taken four strokes and had not yelled, stood up, nor had I cried. I had taken it like a man.

I was so proud of myself.

I grinned at the headmaster’s secretary as I passed her.

Her face remained stony and without expression. I was disappointed.

I wanted some sort of reaction from her, praise for my stoicism, or pity, compassion, anything, even if she had to say I hope it hurts because you deserved it.

But there was no reaction whatsoever.

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