I had the same reaction the next time I was caned, disappointed at no reaction from the secretary.

Was she so used to boys being caned, I wondered?

And exultation at having come through the experience without straightening up, without yelling.

Sheer pride at my performance, the sheer joy that it was all over.

I longed for a sister so I could tell her what had happened or a girlfriend.

I had been beaten .

It had hurt, of course, hurt a lot.

But I felt so good about having taken it without complaint.

I wanted to talk about it.

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