We’ve sort of agreed that it should be eight good hefty whacks rather than, say, a dozen lesser ones.

That’s just what they’ve chosen.”

“Right. I see.”

Joanne accepts my answer,

although still seems a bit tentative.

I go over to an old filing cabinet,

open the bottom drawer and delve inside.

“Ah, here it is!”

I stand up straight again.

“You’ll be needing this.”

I hand Joanne a size twelve plimsoll,

once white,

now looking a little grubby,

but then it has seen a fair bit of use over the years.

Joanne takes the plimsoll and tries a couple of practice swings.

“It’s big, isn’t it?”

“All the better for smacking naughty girls’ bottoms, Joanne.”

“Yes, of course.”

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