28th August
It’s almost four months now since I told Joe that he had to choose between being a full time adult or a full time toddler. We have been working hard on making sure that his relationship with both Sandra and I is totally infantilized. Jason has become more and more at home with his new status and I’m pleased to say is on the whole a happy little boy, obedient and loving.
Yesterday however we had a little incident where Jason was very defiant and had to be disciplined. It was Sunday morning, my Mum who lives about three hours drive away had not been very well and I decided it would be a good ideas if Jason and I went over to visit her. Usually if it’s just Jason and I when I’m driving around town, Jason is allowed to sit in the front next to me, but on long journeys he has to sit in the back like little children do. If Aunty Sandra is with us he naturally accepts that the adults sit in the front and he is okay about sitting in the back, but he hates sitting in the back by himself on a long journey if there is a spare seat next to me. He likes to sit beside me. Anyway, he refused to sit in the back demanding that he sit in the front with Mummy. I tried to explain that it’s not safe for little children to sit in the front when the car is going fast. I put his teddy in the back and told him that teddy was riding in the back and was waiting for him. That didn’t work either. He wanted teddy to sit in the front with him. Aunty Sandra came out to try to talk to him but to no avail. He wanted his own way no matter what anyone said. I could not allow that to happen. I took him inside, took all his adult clothes of leaving him in just his nappy, and nursery print Tee shirt and sat him on the naughty mat in the middle of the lounge. I told him he was being a very naughty little boy and until he decided to act like a big boy and obey Mummy he would have to stay on the naughty mat even if he sat there all day. I then left him, rang my mother and told her that we had been delayed. Sandra and I totally ignored him, making a point to cheerfully and unconcernedly chat away with each other. Of course out of the corner of my eye I was monitoring his response. It was fascinating to watch. First he just sat their sulking then I could see him getting restless, then with no attention being shown him at all I could see he was getting anxious and he began to suck his thumb. Finally after about twenty minutes he called out but not very loudly, “I’m sorry Mummy” I ignored him. A moment later he called out even more loudly “I’m sorry Mummy.” I still ignored him. I was not going to make this easy for him. The next time he called I could tell he was near tears and I went through to him and stood in front of him. He looked up at me and I could see the tears forming in his eyes and his thumb had found it’s way back to his mouth. I crouched down beside him and said “What are you sorry for Jason?”
“Sorry for not obeying you Mummy”
I looked at him sadly. “Mummy’s very disappointed in you Jason”
Jason burst into a flood of tears “I just wanted to to to sit with you.” he blubbered. He looked so miserable but I knew that these early battles had to be won decisively.
“I know that it is hard for little children to understand grown-ups sometimes because they are still so little but Mummy always has a good reason why she tells you to do something, that’s why you must always obey Mummy even if you don’t want to or don’t understand. All right little one.” I said gently.
Jason nodded.
“Good boy, you can give Mummy a hug now.” Jason fell into my arms and just clung there. After a few minutes I said, “It’s all right now, lets get you out of those wet nappies and into some dry ones and on the road to Nana shall we?”
The thing that pleased Sandra and I about this incident was that even though Jason was being naughty he was being naughty in a typical little boy way about a typically childish thing, and that says a lot about how infantilized Joe has become.
These type of incidents however are quite rare with Jason, perhaps only about one every two or three weeks. Initially I was worried that I might not be able to handle his little tantrums but I have grown in confidence and indeed quite look forward to them as they are always important learning times for him. I’m also sure my confidence communicates itself to Jason and reinforces my natural authority over him.
2nd of September
I was in a camping equipment shop today and I saw one of those flat-folding cushions that you put on camp chairs to make them more comfortable. This one was obviously designed to appeal to little children because it had teddies dressed like cowboys on it. I thought it would be just right as a little booster-type baby seat in the back of the car for Jason. I was sure he would love it and maybe he would feel better about sitting in the back of the car if he had his own special seat. It worked a treat, Jason was absolutely delighted. He couldn’t wait to try it out. I still can hardly believe sometimes how genuinely and naturally infantile Jason is.
7th September
It was Sandra who suggested that we use a star chart to further train Jason. She had noticed that sometimes he wasn’t very good at picking up his toys and she felt that it was time to give him little jobs to do. I agreed and together we designed a really attractive star chart for him. It was titled ‘MUMMY’S BIG BOY STAR CHART.’ Down the side were a list of four little tasks, picking up toys every night after his play time, saying please and thank you, saying ‘excuse me’ before getting down from the table, and helping set the table for dinner. Every time he does one of those things he gets a star sticker, when he gets 5 stars for any one thing he gets a teddy bear sticker and when he gets ten stickers for any one thing he can stay up an extra half-hour after his usual 8.30 bedtime.
