I sighed; unsure of what was to come in the future for my little girl if things did not progress in a manner that allowed her to interact with the outside world. Once more, I looked and saw the old Lea returning. Her swaying had begun to slow and her focus had returned. The bottle, now empty, was set down as she slowly took a hold of the toy in my hand. My own hand covered most of the animal but Lea managed to squeeze her tiny fingers through and took a powerful grip on the duck’s wing. She playfully attempted to shake the duck out of my hand in vain. Her cuteness became too much for me to bear and I was forced to let go. With a squeal of excitement, Lea clamped both of her hands onto the soft animal and slowly caressed it within her palms.
I gently patted her head as my thumb would occasionally rub a miss-placed hair away.
“You think she’s gonna be alright now?” I asked.
Amber was studiously watching Lea toss her toy around.
“Yeah, I think she’ll be okay for now.” She replied with a smile.
“So um…” I was hesitant to ask my next question. “Do you think… Lea is going to need medicine all her life?”
“Well, to be honest I don’t know.” Amber shrugged as she continued to watch Lea playing.
“What do you mean?” I asked grimly.
She patiently rose up and faced me. “Marshall, an autistic child doesn’t just need drugs and therapy to help them lead a normal life.” She stared straight into my eyes with a mournful expression in hers. “She needs support. If you let these needs of hers affect the way you see or interact around her, then…” Amber just shook her head slowly.
I took in what she had just said, and sighed. “I do support her; in any way that may be needed to help her cope with what she feels inside. The reason why I wanted to know was just…” I sniffed back my emotions. Just having that reminder that she was different struck a nerve inside. All those times in my life of being ridiculed or judged for being “different” in some way flooded back in my mind. If I could do something to help little Lea avoid those cruel moments and allow her to lead a full and happy life, then I had done just what I had wished for since the beginning.
“… She deserves so much more than to just be seen as ‘different’. I won’t allow her to face the things I had to when I was young.” I explained.
Amber stepped closer.
“She won’t have to… with someone like you by her side. Don’t ever let go of the relationship you and that little girl have built throughout all this time.” She replied softly.
I stared long and hard at what Amber was expressing in her face. She truly cared and wanted to be there through all the difficult times that life would inevitably throw and comfort us along the way. Just as my mouth opened to thank her, I felt a slight tugging on my pants. It was Lea and she had stretched her arms out to me in a manner asking to be carried. I smiled once more and with my two hands now underneath her armpits, I launched her a few inches above my head only to be gently dropped in my arms. I laughed along with her as she showed such excitement being in the air.
“Only now I’ve noticed.” Amber noted with her arms crossed.
“What do you mean?”
She smiled warmly at the two of us.
“Lea really likes it when you carry her. What, you didn’t see it either?”
I expressed a puzzle look. “Me? I always thought it had more to do with her fascination with looking around at things. And being really high up allows her to do just that.” I answered back.
Amber’s face lined a smirk. I raised my eyebrow suspiciously at what she might’ve been thinking.
“No, I think it really is you. To be honest, she doesn’t seem as… smiley when I’m carrying her, but with you…” She nodded softly as Lea laid her head on my shoulder.
Amber chuckled and just as she began to walk out of the room she added: “… You two definitely have some chemistry Mr. Soel; that Stephanie girl better watch out!” She joked.
I laughed and yelled back: “You know how I feel about being called Mr. Soel!”