Janet sniggered and said “It must be so boring being a boy… it’s nothing but jeans and T shirts and trousers and shirts and jumpers and jeans and trousers and shirts or a jumper and jeans and… if I was guy I’d be campaigning for equality in clothing rights and demanding my right to wear a skirt or a dress and high heeled shoes!”
“Nah you wouldn’t… you’d be thinking; Yey, I don’t to get up half an hour earlier to do my hair and make-up… I’m glad I’m a guy and don’t have to bother with all that everyday.” I suggested as she finished applying my make-up. “This is fun as a one off but doing it daily must be a bit of a chore.”
“Yeah it is a bit… but don’t you feel short changed as a boy? Us girls can wear whatever we like whenever we like and you’ve only got a choice of long or short pants and long or short sleeves.”
“It’s not quite that simple though. Can you go to work without wearing make-up?” I rhetorically asked. “…and plenty of offices still insist on women wearing skirts and heels. It was on Woman’s Hour a couple of weeks ago and Jenny Murray was saying that it’s not just the skirts and heels, it’s the extra twenty minutes doing their hair and make-up every morning.”
“You listen to Woman’s Hour?!” my sister quizzed.
“Not religiously… it’s just on every morning and I often catch a bit of it.” I claimed
“OK… forget working… what about going out ’round town?” she suggested. “I can wear ripped jeans and a skinny tee and you’d get turned away from most bars if you wore jeans and a T shirt. They’d be like sorry mate too casual.” she said, mimicking a man’s voice quite convincingly. “Us girls can be casual, smart, plain, pretty or tarty and we wouldn’t get turned away from anywhere… but you guys get turned away unless you’re wearing smart shoes, trousers and a shirt.”
“Yeah I know what you mean.” I replied. “The rock bars are a lot more relaxed when it comes to the dress code.”
“They’re a lot more relaxed when it comes to hygiene too!” Janet sneered. “Right… I think that’s you just about done.” she said, stepping back and replacing the lid of the eyebrow pencil.
“Can I see now?” I asked.
“Be my guest.” she said, gesturing to the full length mirror leant up against the wall.
I timidly stepped in front of the mirror and slowly raised my eyes. My jaw dropped after a short sharp intake of breath. “Blimey Janet… I look just like a girl!” I gasped. “…and my legs look so long!”
“Your legs look amazing… I’m well jell!” my sister gushed. “Shaving them was absolutely the right decision.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. We’d tried just a pair of nude tights but my squished up leg hair beneath them was far too obvious. “I can’t believe what you’ve done to my face… I really don’t look like me at all!”
“It’s amazing what can be achieved with make-up.” she grinned as she stepped to my side. “…and a pair of socks.” she added, grabbing one of my ‘boobs’.
“Oi that’s harassment!” I jovially protested. My sister giggled as I turned my head this way and that. The coiled plait on the back has been clipped on to my own, shorter hair. “My hair looks really convincing… that hairpiece looks really real.”
“I must say I’m quite impressed myself with that.” she said. “How do your ears feel?”
“Still a bit sore.” I replied. “It’s weird when they bag against my neck.” I added.
“I quite like wearing big earrings because of that. When you’re just wearing studs or sleepers, you forget they’re there.” Janet replied. “Although you really should be wearing a pair of studs until they’ve healed properly.”
“Well… once this is over, I’ll just let the holes heal up.” I replied.
“Loads of guys have both ears pierced these days.” Janet said. “Just look at Eminem.”
“Yeah but he doesn’t wear dangly earrings like this.”
“Yeah but he’s not posing as a podium girl.” Janet stated. “You’ve really saved the day Peter… I can’t thank you enough for this.”
“I haven’t done anything yet. What if I mess up?”
“You can’t mess up… all we have to do is stand on a box and do a bit of posing like…” Janet demonstrated by doing a quirky little Betty Boop dance. “…and hold a letter.”
