Mike picks up the mic and taps it. Buphf buphf, pounds through the PA. I gulp and turn my eyes to Janet. I know what to do I’m just dreading doing it. Janet makes eye contact with all of us, and as Mike begins to address the crowd and thanks them for coming… we step onto the podiums, holding our letters in front of our legs. As the opening fanfare blasts out over the PA and Mike cuts the ribbon, we raise the big pink polystyrene letters high above our heads and begin to wiggle our hips in time with the music. The crowd applauds and Mike declares the bar open. Janet and I, Zoe, Claire, Rebecca and Louise continue dancing as the crown passes between us to enter the newly refurbished bar.
With everyone inside and the fanfare music fading out, we step down from our podiums and congratulate each other. “God I’ve never been so nervous in my whole life!” I exclaimed as we high fived and patted one another’s backs. My sister’s hand rubbed the fastener on the back of the strapless bra she’d loaned me. She grinned. I blushed. She asked if I enjoyed that. “Yeah… in a crapping myself sort of way.” I admitted.
“Ladies you look lovely!” some bloke said. I turned to see a professional looking DSLR camera pointing at us. “Can I get a few group shots please?” the photographer asked.
“Err…” I grimaced. We didn’t really have a choice and he took about ten photos of us in various poses. “I’m glad that’s over.” I said when he went inside.
“I bet you are!” Janet grinned. “I can’t thank you enough Peter.” she said.
“You’re welcome you nutter… only you could think of getting me to stand in as a last minute podium girl!”
“And you carried it off perfectly.” Janet grinned. The others agreed. “You coming in for a drink?”
“Yes… I need one. A very large one!” I said. We left the big pink glittery letters on the podiums and went inside. “It’s packed!” I loudly commented. A DJ blasted out pounding dance music.
“I know… there’s loads here.” my sister exclaimed. “I didn’t think many would turn up!” she loudly told me.
“Girls you were great… absolutely fantastic!” Mike loudly said after pushing his way through the crowd to greet us. “It’s gonna be busy so I’ll need all hand on deck… Lucy… hang on… you’re not Lucy!”
“Err…” I glanced around for Janet but she’s fetching our drinks.
“Lucy couldn’t make it Mike… this is Janet’s brother.” Rebecca loudly told him.
“What?” Mike shouted over the banging tunes. Rebecca repeated herself, yelling right in his ear.
Mike’s jaw dropped. “Brother?!” I he gasped, looking me up and down from my long hairless legs and tiny black shorts to my off the shoulder top and the layers of make-up that hide my true identity.
“Err…. yeah… Janet can be quite persuasive.” I bashfully yet loudly said.
“You’re telling me!” Mike replied. “Have you worked a bar before?”
“What?” I asked. Mike repeated himself. “No.” I loudly said.
“Shit!” he grabbed his jaw. “Right… Rebecca and Zoe… I need you two behind the bar… the rest of you, mingle, smile, collect the empties.”
“Errr… I was only supposed to be ding the podium bit.” I explained. “Ah, Janet, you’re back!” I said seeing my sister appear with a tray of drinks.
“This is your brother?” Mike quizzed. Janet nodded and told him that I’d kindly agreed to stand in for Lucy on the podium. “Great… thanks.” Mike said, but he seemed very flustered. He and my sister talked about something and despite them being within a metre of me, over the pounding music I could really hear.
“Peter.” Janet said. “I know it was just supposed to be a few minutes on the podium but…. the place is rammed and we need all the help we can get.”
“You want me to stay and work?” I glumly yet loudly asked.
“I wouldn’t ask if we didn’t need you.” my sister told me. “You’ll be paid of course.” she said.
I sighed. “OK.” I said, although I really really didn’t want to. “How long for?”
“A couple of hours maybe… ’til it dies down.” she said.
“OK.” I grumbled. “What do I do?”
“Just mingle and smile and collect the empties… and if anyone slaps your backside, ignore it.”
I didn’t quite catch the last bit thanks to the loud pounding music. “What?” I said, leaning my ear into my sister’s mouth. She repeated herself. “You’re kidding!” I gasped.
“Comes with the territory.” she said. “Drink up. You’ll need it!”