Jimmy crept to and fro within the confines of the playpen, picking up a toy here and mouthing it for a few minutes before dropping it and moving on to a new toy. Andrew was a bit surprised that he was enjoying the experience too. The toys had such interesting flavors and textures when Jimmy put them in their shared mouth. Within thirty minutes Andrew felt a faintly warm feeling at the front of his diaper as he began to dribble pee. Seconds later, he felt an overpowering undefined urge in his nether regions just before his abdominal muscles contracted and he was flooded with a warm sensation of pleasure as his bowels and bladder let go simultaneously.
Jimmy cooed in simple pleasure while Andrew’s more adult mind warred with itself. On one hand, he knew he should feel disgusted by what he had just done, but his feelings were all wrong. He had liked it! He just couldn’t enjoy peeing and pooping his diaper like a baby, could he? Jimmy’s bladder cut loose again, soaking the entire front of his diaper. Andrew could feel the warm pee running down his crotch and dripping off his testicles to pool in the bottom of his diaper. Jimmy grinned and chortled at the tickling feeling the dripping pee gave him and peed some more.
Andrew was in emotional shock; he really liked the feeling of pissing in his diapers! Jimmy espied a rattle in the corner of the playpen and made a beeline for the colorful toy. Andrew felt the warm soggy diaper squish between his legs with every movement of his knees, enjoying every minute of it. When Jimmy reached the rattle and took it in his hand before plopping himself down in his wet, poopy diaper, Andrew liked that too. Jimmy shook the rattle awkwardly with one hand while making loud consonantless sounds to accompany the musical rattling noise coming from the toy in his hand. This went on for a long time before Krystyn reappeared and changed their dirty diaper and tucked them in the crib for their midmorning nap.
When they were awoken again, the rest of the day passed much as the morning had as did the days that followed. Andrew had been taken by the dream and drifted from one nap to another without considering what was happening to him. The line of nerves feeding him information about the outside world gradually opened while he slept, giving him full access to baby Jimmy’s sensorium. One morning, Andrew was surprised when he wished that his thumb was in his mouth so he could suck on it and discovered that he was suddenly able to control his hand again as he promptly popped his thumb into his mouth. Later that day, he discovered that it was he, not Jimmy, who eagerly reached for the bottle of formula when Krystyn gave it to him. He was even more shocked at the end of the day when Krystyn tickled his belly as she changed his diaper and discovered that it was he, not Jimmy who was chortling in delight at her attentions.
After a day or two, (Andrew could no longer keep track of time), Andrew looked around and suddenly discovered that he was all alone in his head. Jimmy no longer controlled any part of his body. By this time, however, there was no appreciable difference between the two. Andrew laughed and cooed when Jimmy would have and played with his toys in the same way. Their behaviors and mindsets were the same. They were identical. Andrew had been assimilated. Only Andrew’s memories of having lived a life before his transformation set him apart from any other infant. That night, Krystyn bathed him carefully with Johnson’s baby soap and shampooed his hair before coating him in baby oil and washing him again to seal the moisture in his skin and make it extra-soft for the next day. When she was done, she took him out of the tub and carefully dried him before giving him a long sensuous massage with baby lotion. Then she powdered and diapered him in a heavily perfumed overnight diaper and lay him down in his crib to sleep. “Tomorrow is the big day, Jimmy!”, she said as she tucked his teddy bear by his side and covered him with his receiving blanket, “Your mommy is coming to get you and take you home with her! I think your mommy will be very happy with how you’ve turned out. I’ve never had a happier, sweeter baby to put up for adoption.”
Andrew smiled a tiny rosebud smile as his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep dreaming of a mother who somehow combined Amber and his birth mother in one person. In his mind, they had merged into a single person.
“Silently one by one, in the infinite meadows of heaven
Blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of the angels.”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Evangeline, pt I, sec 3 [1887]
Andrew awoke after having the strangest dream. Before he opened his eyes, he sought to ground himself in the memories of the day before reviewing the disturbing content of the dream itself. The dream had been so incredibly detailed and complex that he could hardly distinguish between his actual memories and the dream. Somehow the dream had blended with the memories of the day before until they seemed like a seamless sequence of events. He remembered having a conversation over the three-foot-tall, steel-wired cyclone back fence with his neighbor Allie about washing techniques. Andrew had just finished mowing his small backyard and his neighbor was hanging up her wash on the line when he asked her why she didn’t get a dryer instead of hanging out the wash. Allie had replied that she had a dryer, but that drying the clothes in the Sun gave them a fresh scent that no dryer could possibly match. She told him that she only used the dryer on rainy days when she had no choice and that on a perfect Spring day like that day, there was no reason not to take advantage of the Sun and breeze.
Allie added in a maternal aside that her mother had told her when she was a little girl that the only way to dry a cloth diaper perfectly was to hang the freshly washed diaper in the breeze and let the Sun sterilize it. Allie smiled in remembered disappointment and said that the knowledge that her mother had passed on to her might never be of use to her, but she wanted Andrew to know in case he became a father someday. She shook her head as she continued to pin her blouses and underwear to the line with clothespins.
He had told her that Spring had only brought him his annual sinus condition and had instantly loosed a violent sneeze as if to make his point. Upon hearing Andrew’s loud nasal eruption, Allie stopped what she was doing and had come over to the fence to suggest to him in a maternal way that perhaps if he took a nice hot bath maybe the steam would open his sinuses so that he’d feel better. Andrew had agreed to take her advice, telling her he was planning to take a nice long bath that night.
Andrew really liked his neighbor and was very attracted to her slim build that her tight fitting jeans displayed so well. Her ample bosom was contained neatly within the white ruffled blouse that she wore that morning, giving him a slight tingle of sexual titillation as he watched them bob up and down in response to her bending and straightening as she hung the clothes on the line. He remembered wishing that she was closer to his age so he could ask her out, but the gulf of five years made him feel like she was more his mother than a possible girlfriend. Rather than run the risk of embarrassing himself by asking her out, he had long ago decided to have her his confidant rather than his girlfriend.
